


December Mourning

by AutumnHobbit



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Bard is an awesome dad, F/M, Feels, He's also an awesome husband, Slight spoilers as to DOS plot, Tauriel would be a great big sister, This is really sad, WARNING: may be trigger to those who've lost a parent, but also kind of beautiful, but then again what else is LOTR/The hobbit, one of the many reasons why Bard hates Alfrid, possible DOS spoiler
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-07
Updated: 2014-01-07
Packaged: 2018-01-07 21:47:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1124751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AutumnHobbit/pseuds/AutumnHobbit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"And your wife, I'd imagine she's just a beauty."</p><p>"Aye. She was."</p><p>Bard ruminates on his wife and what happened to her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	December Mourning

“How many beards?” The elder dwarf asked kindly, although Bard knew it was at least somewhat feigned for bargaining purposes.

Even so, he smiled a bit at the thought of the children. “A boy and two girls.”

“And your wife, I’d imagine she’s just a beauty.”

His throat tightened. He knew it was an innocent mistake, easy to make, but it hurt no less than it would have had he’d asked the dwarves where they lived. He turned away, responding softly, “Aye.”

_She was..._

_***_

 

A chill wind blew across the Lake, sending ripples through the reflections of many twinkling lights from fires and lanterns that shone from the houses and shacks that stood upon the water. The cold seemed to cut right through his leather jerkin, but right now, he didn't care.

Bard considered Esgaroth, with all it's lights before him. Even with the light that twinkled brighter in the Master's Hall than all the rest, even with the wind howling outside and the slightest beginnings of sleet falling, all seemed peaceful and quiet; ironic, considering...

Another muffled shriek from inside their shanty pulled him out of his reverie with a cringe, and he drew his coat more tightly around his shoulders as he hurried up the steps.

He pushed the door open softly, as if that would do much to calm the storm; either outside or within. Kaia lay sprawled in the bed under the window, covered with furs. Her fair face was twisted with pain and soaked with sweat.

Whispering a prayer of thanks to the Valar that Sigrid and Bain were not here to see their mother like this, he pulled his coat off and threw it carelessly onto the table before perching on the stool at her bedside, stroking her sweaty brown hair and murmuring to her, though he wasn't quite sure she could hear him; her eyes were glazed over.

The door from the basement banged, and Janne stood there, snowflakes in her brown hair and a bucket in her hands. She hurried over to the stove with it and set it on top, then came over and knelt beside him. She was silent for a moment, then took a deep breath. "Bard..." she began softly.

"I know." he said.

“It’s been a day.” she said. “I’m beginning to wonder...”

“Janne...” he sighed. “You know I want to...”

“But?” she asked when the silence stretched, broken only by Kaia’s labored breathing.

“I don’t know how I will pay him.” Bard admitted softly. “I barely have enough to feed us as it is, and...”

“Bard,” she said with a soft reproach to her tone. “He will understand.”

“The Master won’t.” Bard muttered, hanging his head.

“Who says he needs to know?” Janne said.

Bard glanced around. “You know that he knows everything! His lackeys are everywhere.”

Kaia shifted and whimpered softly. Bard leaned closer, stroking her cheek with his finger. Her eyelids fluttered and her eyes slowly focused on him. “Bard,” she whispered hoarsely.

“Shhh,” he said gently, still stroking her cheek. “I’m going to go for help.”

She looked as though she wanted to protest, but finally sighed and lay back against the pillow again. Bard bent and kissed her forehead, then did the same to her stomach. "Come soon, little one," he whispered. "Please." Then he pulled his coat over his shoulders and plunged into the storm.

 

***

Laketown was a treacherous place to travel, even in bright sunlight, but with the snow and the biting wind and the ice forming on the already steep and slick stairs, catwalks, and rooftops, it was miserable.

Good thing that didn't matter to him.

He swung down from a rooftop and grabbed the windowframe to drop to the platform below, giving thanks that he had always loved exploring as a child. He ran, keeping to the shadows as best he could. There was a line of maybe fifteen shops between him and the apothecary's home, not to mention...he shook the thought from his head. He glanced around warily. All seemed quiet enough, so he carefully crept through the alley behind the Master's Hall, hoping to avoid detection...

And ran right into the returning patrol.

He whirled and ran the other way, but the ones in the guardhouse seemed to have heard, and were standing in their ridiculous helmets, their not-so-ridiculous glaives pointed at him. He growled internally, but slowly raised his hands in surrender.

And then he heard it. The slimy voice, and he felt as if someone was taking his insides and twisting them.

"Well, well, look who's here." Bard simmered. _Please no,_ he prayed. _Not here, not now._

_Because if he doesn't get out of my way, I swear I'll kill him._

He turned slowly. Alfrid was slouching beside the captain of the guard, his hands clasped behind his back and a sneer on his face. "There's a curfew on, or hadn't you heard, Bard?" Bard was silent. "Don't think that the Master has forgotten how you still owe him on the debt your father started. And," Alfrid slithered closer to Bard as he spoke, and Bard tried not to flinch at his proximity. "And we have ways of making sure we get our payment..."

"Enough!" someone said from behind him, and Bard felt relief shoot through him. Halldor stood on his balcony, wrapped in a coat. The man had been apothecary as long as Bard could remember, and he was a kindly one at that. "Bard's just come to bring me the kingsfoil I asked for. Isn't that right?"

All of the guards looked at him. He nodded. "Of course," he said, pulling a wad of it wrapped in a white cloth out of his coat and climbing the stairs to hand it to him. None of the guards stopped him. Halldor smiled knowingly as he accepted the bundle, then turned back to Alfrid. "I'm sure this little incident isn't enough to pull all these guards away from their important duties guarding Laketown against other dangerous curfew-breakers."

Alfrid looked sour. "He still broke one of our sovreign laws," the snake said tartly.

"As I recall, someone else broke curfew last week, Alfrid," Halldor said pointedly. Alfrid's thin face twisted with rage, but he snapped his mouth shut and whirled, gesturing to the guards to follow. He managed to sneak a glare back at Bard before he went out of sight.

Halldor waited until he was certain they were gone, then turned to Bard. "What's the trouble? I know you wouldn't risk a trip out unless you were desperate."

"It's Kaia," he said. "And the baby. It's been going on forever, and..."

"Well, we don't have any time to waste, then," Halldor responded, pulling his coat more tightly over his shoulders. "Lead on."

***

The two of them could easily hear the screams from two rows of houses down. They quickened their pace. Then, all of a sudden, the screams cut off. Bard's heart dropped into his stomach. He hurried up the steps to the door, Halldor on his heels. He pushed it open...and saw Kaia lying with a tiny bundle on her chest, and Janne sitting beside her. He came to her bedside and sat down. She was very pale and weak, but was smiling wanly at the tiny babe lying on her.

"A girl," Janne said. Bard couldn't help but smile a bit, but he saw the blood staining the sheets, and a chill of fear went through him.

Just then, the door banged open again, and little Sigrid and Bain, both wrapped tightly against the cold, came in, followed by Raelene, eldest daughter of one of Bard's friends. Halldor quickly threw a fur over the bed to hide the blood.

"Ma sent me over to check on you and see if you needed anything, and they insisted on coming," Raelene said of the kids. Janne smiled at them. "Come and see your little sister," she told them.

"A sister?" Sigrid said timidly, walking over cautiously, with Bain behind her. They stopped and looked at the baby almost respectfully. Bard worked up as much of a reassuring smile as he could muster, and Janne let them touch her tiny cheek for a few minutes before she hurried them off. "It's late, and cold. Bed is a good place for you two," she said, leading them upstairs. Bard watched them go, but turned back as Halldor came over from where he had been examining her.

Bard knew from the look on his face before he said a word.

"I'm sorry, Bard," he said softly. "But there's nothing I can do."

He'd expected this. He knew it was common. But that didn't make it any easier. He resolved to be strong for the children, but he couldn't help the way his shoulders slumped. Halldor patted one of them sympathetically.

"I'll stay here tonight, anyways. Stura will understand."

He left to dump a bucket outside, and the three of them were alone.

Bard crept over to her bedside and sat down again, glancing at Kaia. Her skin was almost translucently pale, and her breathing was soft and shallow. But she was still focused on the baby.

"Kaia?" he asked softly. She glanced up at him slowly. Her beautiful, soft brown eyes were dim, but still the ones he knew and loved.

"What shall we call her?"

Kaia glanced back down at the baby, her eyelids dropping. She ran a finger along the curve of the girl's tiny cheek. "I like the name Tilda," she whispered, before she sighed and eased down onto the pillow, nearly asleep.

"Aye," Bard said softly, his voice breaking as he leaned over and gently kissed her forehead. "Tilda it is."

 

***

 

Sigrid sat in a corner of a stall by the dock, wrapped tightly in one of her ma's old shawls, crying. It was a place she'd always gone when she was sad or angry to give her space to think, and since Raelene's parents owned the stall, she didn't have to worry about being kicked out.

Faintly, through the haze that weeping always brought, she heard a voice, which sounded amazingly like a bell, say, "Mae Govannen!"

She slowly raised her head from where she was resting it atop her folded arms, which in turn rested on her knees. Two elves were before her, obviously from King Thranduil's realm; they were clad in shining mail beneath silver and green tunics. One was a male with long, blond hair, and the other was female, with hair like shining copper. The latter was kneeling so that she was almost at eye level with Sigrid.

"Whatever is the matter, dear one?" the female asked gently in Westron, a look of sympathy on her freckled face.

It took Sigrid a few minutes to calm down enough to speak. She drew her sleeve over her eyes to wipe some of the tears away. Finally, she squeaked out, "They're sending Ma away today, and it's winter, and there aren't even...there aren't even any flowers to give her," she sniffled.

At her words, the female elf's face twisted, though whether into pain or sorrow Sigrid couldn't tell. The elf turned and looked at her companion, who nodded. She turned back to Sigrid. "I think, perhaps, we could help you. Come, with us, dear."

 

***

 

"Have you ever heard of Lothlorien, dear heart?" the elf asked her, as she led Sigrid by the hand to the barge the elves had come in, which was loaded with barrels and other containers.

Sigrid shook her head, bewildered. The female elf smiled. "It is the home of some of our kin...or at least of his," she gestured to her quiet companion. "It is a forest, with beauty beyond measure."

The elf knelt and lifted a beautiful box from one of the crates. "In Lothlorien, flowers grow all year long."

She lifted the lid, and Sigrid caught her breath at the sight of immaculate golden flowers, sparkling as if they were stars.

"These are called Elanor," the elf told her. "They look like stars, do they not?" Sigrid nodded. The elf woman lifted a blossom out of the box. "All light is sacred to the Eldar, but we love best the light of the stars, for starlight is memory. Precious and pure."

She laid a handful of the delicate flowers into Sigrid's small hand. Sigrid stared disbelievingly. "But...I could never pay for this," she said. "Neither could Da."

She paused at the feeling of a hand on her shoulder. She looked up and saw the female elf gazing at her, with...tears in her eyes? "I too know how it feels to lose a mother, sweet."

"As do I." the male said softly. Sigrid stared, her gaze going back and forth between the two of them, before she threw her arms around the female elf's neck. She seemed startled, but slowly returned the gesture.

"What is your name?" Sigrid whispered.

The elf smiled. "Tauriel," she responded. "And yours?"

"Sigrid."

There was a pause, then Sigrid asked, very softly, "What was your ma's name?"

Tauriel felt tears sting behind her eyes, but she whispered "Aeliniell. And yours?"

"Kaia," little Sigrid choked out. Tauriel hung her head and whispered, "Hiro hyn hidh ab wannath.*” After Sigrid had cried a bit into Tauriel's shoulder, she pulled back. "I...must go home. Da will be worried sick."

Tauriel nodded, and stood. She led Sigrid off of the barge. Sigrid gave her another quick hug. "Thank you, Tauriel." Then she glanced behind Tauriel. "And thank you..."

"Legolas." Tauriel was shocked that he had spoken, but when she whirled, she saw only a smile. Sigrid nodded, then turned and hurried off, waving behind her as she went.

Then, so softly that Tauriel barely heard it, Legolas whispered, "Marienna."*

 

***

 

Bard stood stiffly at the edge of the dock. The cold wind whipped around the small gathering, all clad in black, as they gazed at the beautiful golden flowers drifting through the water, covering the spot where they had given her body into the care of the water. As they stood silently, mourning, Bard saw a barge pull out of the main docks, quite a distance away, helmed by elves. He saw the two whom Sigrid had told him of, the ones who had given her the flowers. He saw two of them gazing at him with sorrow and understanding. He raised his arm and pressed it to his heart, then lowered it towards them, in a gesture of thanks. In response, they returned it and gave him a sad smile before they turned and headed back into the embrace of the forest.

His movement woke the infant cradled in the crook of his arm, and she stirred, rubbing at her face with her tiny fist. Bard realized with a pang that with all he'd had distracting him, he hadn't even taken a good look at his daughter yet.

He raised her small body up so that she was lying on his shoulder and gazed into her face. She was smaller than either Sigrid or Bain had been at birth, but already she was strong and alert, glancing around and taking everything in with large, familiar brown eyes. Her skin was smooth and fair, and she had swirls of soft brown hair on her head.

In fact, she looked almost exactly like her mother.

Bard lifted her closer and kissed her tiny head, with a rush of longing and determination going through him at once. Kaia had given all for their family. He would do the same.

"Don't worry, Tilda," he whispered to his little daughter, as she stared up at him with her wide brown eyes, seeming to understand exactly. "I will take care of you." He glanced at Sigrid and Bain. "We all will."

 

***

 

The first few weeks were the hardest.

Sigrid went through bouts where she would just be going about her day, and suddenly she would collapse and break down sobbing. Bard tried to keep an eye on her as best he could. Sometimes she just wanted to be alone, and sometimes she was more than willing to fold into his arms as she wept as if she would never stop.

Bain was more complicated. He was crushed. He left the house often, roaming the streets and sitting alone on the borders. He might have done so forever, but then came the night when little Tilda was sick and inconsolable, and would not sleep for anything, no matter how hard Bard and Sigrid tried. Finally, Bain came over and gathered his two-month-old sister into his arms. After a few minutes of his humming an old lullaby of their mother's, she snuggled against his chest and fell asleep. From then on, he worked his hardest with his father to support them.

Bard himself felt numb. He went through the motions of his work, of his social time, of everything.

Slowly, but surely, however, spring came, and with it, the thaw.

Sigrid became a woman too soon, but she made him proud, with her hard work, her beautiful singing voice, and her loving manner with her brother and sister. Bain was a man even though he was still young, working his hardest, but never too busy to play. And Tilda grew into a beautiful, sweet girl with an adventurous spirit.

And Bard had kept one of the Elves' flowers. It was dried and hung in the house. The flowers symbolized memory, Sigrid had told him. Well, he would forever have the memory of the smile that had lit up his life, even for the short time they had had.

And when that was not enough, he had it whenever his children smiled at him.

 

***

 

Bard shook himself out of his memories and glanced around. They were approaching the gate now, the same gate that the Elves had left from these seven years past. The dwarves were loaded into the barrels, where hopefully, if they did as he said, they would avoid detection.

And in spite of the fact that he was possibly about to get into a heap of trouble, he couldn’t help but feel his heart lift at the knowledge that those smiles were waiting for him.

**Author's Note:**

> *"Hiro hyn hidh ab wannath,” Sinadarin: May they find peace after death.
> 
> *Marienna, Quenya: “Farewell,” but in this particular language, this version of “farewell” means “towards happiness.”
> 
> "December Mourning" is also the title of an awesome song by Manic Drive. 
> 
>  
> 
> I obviously do not own any characters/happenings.
> 
> Please let me know what you think. :)


End file.
